Depression is back
Not the easiest post I have to write as it is a real personal issue that my depression is back, I can’t exactly tell you why and where the depression demons come back from I just don’t know, in fact, I didn’t even notice my behaviour my fiancée did!!
I imagine with most mental illness we just don’t know we’re ill we just know something is wrong and nine times out of ten the closest people tend to get the fallout from our illness.
One of my first post I wrote for busting my fat belly was can exercise help with depression take back control, as this subject is something I’m really keen to help others as well as myself!!
Now here is the punch line and for me, the vital link……. I stopped exercising!!
It’s hard to pinpoint when I stopped exercising my motivation just went, and the vicious cycle just happened, Stopped exercising and poof the weight comes back, no longer am I toned and in a good healthy condition I was which adds to the low mood I’m feeling.
Now in no way is it as bad as how it was when I first got and it was directed more inwards with crying and confusion this was something else, this was vile I took it out on my fiancée and not even realised the damage I was causing to her mental well-being, it can’t be easy living with someone with mental health issues I can only empathise….But I can’t as empathy has disappeared along with all other emotions.
My fiancée picked up on my changed behaviour weeks before the meltdown, I should have spotted the signs but I failed and didn’t listen to my fiancée, I fount myself sourcing my own prescription drugs such codeine and other moods “calming” effects!
The crazy thing about it all, I know what the best drug is and its exercise!! I gave my fiancée the worse holiday of her life and we split up as she just couldn’t take any more and moved back to her mums, one week later I resign from my job possibly would have been sacked but will never know that now. it’s not relevant as although I am now jobless feel a huge lift off my shoulders.
Well, it’s going to be a long hard road and my fiancée has moved back in, on one condition…..I get help and real help, I started by going doctors and took my fiancée with me so they could hear how it really was, a real reality check listening to someone describe you to a doctor.
It’s been decided that I go and see a specialist as they may be more at play than just depression, but that’s for another day.
My pledge to myself, my fiancée my kids and all the subscribers to busting my fat belly is this I will beat the demons within, with exercise and medical help because this time I will listen to my fiancée.
Depression is back for now! but it will be gone
If you are suffering either from mental health or living with it then seek to get help its nothing to be ashamed of, if this article has touched a point or want to know more either comment below or email privately at firstname.lastname@example.org